WDH - wife friendly

There are no "bars" so I don't know what you are referring to but I am saying the whole process of using my WDH is harder for me than you might believe. 

EchoGale, you may want to take a look at the Fastway e2.  Though the head is heavy and awkward to lift, the bars weigh 11 pounds and are easy to manage, as opposed to plates and chains.  My solution to the heavy head is to leave it on the truck during camping season with a locking retainer pin [I'm not sure of the technical name] so someone doesn't borrow it.  The bars are pretty easy to lift into position and are held in by a little flat retainer spring that you lift to release with one finger, while holding onto the bar with the other hand.  To put the bars into position to effortlessly set them on the L brackets on the trailer tongue, you use an electric jack to lift the tongue until the bars clear the brackets, then drop in and lock the bar retainer thingies.  My wife, who is just a tad over 100 lbs. can easily hook up the Fastway e2.  Also, there are after market bar retainers that have a clip that is spring loaded that locks them onto the L bracket.  

EchoGale, all wdh’s have to have some spring action, if it lifted the tongue and rear axle of your TV without being able to flex it would put a huge stress on your trailer and tv frame (and itself) when you went through a low spot or went over a bump. Most wdh’s do this with flexing spring bars that are under tension once installed. In the case of your Andersen wdh this is accomplished by urethane springs which compress to allow the chains to take the stresses.

One thing you might want to do is just leave the hitch in your receiver so you don’t have to take it on and off all the time. I agree they are heavy. Mine is on my Highlander most of the time because it seems I’m dragging around one of my trailers every few days. I got tired of constantly taking it on and off. It’s really not in the way of anything because I never need to parallel park in my area.

Sorry you're having such a time with your WDH. I was speaking specifically about our fastway E2, and how easy it is to hook up. Except for the hitch head, which I think will be a common issue for any WDH. But putting the bars on and off is really, (really) easy.