Strange but true

You couldn't make something like this up.

I've just about concluded that the world is getting a little too strange for me. I hope the scientists find another planet with intelligent life.........'cause I'm packing!   

https://www.wthr.com/article/woman-turns-to-indianapolis-firefighters-for-help-with-stoned-raccoon

Stoned Raccoon would be a great name for a rock band. :)

Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of Dakota
There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
He hit young Rocky in the eye
Rocky didn't like that he said I'm gonna get that boy
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon
Rock Raccoon checked into his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy
Her name was Magill and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy
Were in the next room at the hoedown
Rocky burst in and grinning a grin
He said, ‽Danny boy this is a showdown"
But Daniel was hot he drew first and shot
And Rocky collapsed in the corner
Now the doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said, ‽Rocky you met your match"
And Rocky said, ‽Doc it's only a scratch
And I'll be better, I'll be better Doc as soon as I am able"
And now Rocky Raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Rocky's revival

Hmmm....I'm sensing a theme here -

Rock band name
Hank Williams Jr.
Beatles White album

Maybe a song??? How about


The Police/Sting "Roxanne", only instead use "Raccoon"?

"Roxanne"

Roxanne
You don't have to put on the red light
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night


"Raccoon"

Raccoon
You don't have to go to the firehouse
Those days are over
You don't have to light that doobie tonight



I may need some help with this folks!

Crazy, in northern Michigan, where people are a bit saner (IMHO) they are trapped for their fur.  A few summers ago the DNR was allowing anyone who saw a raccoon during the day to "shoot on sight" as they had an intense wasting disease epidemic.  Took the numbers down dramatically, to the point to where you actually see more dead deer and skunk along the road than you do raccoon.  Used to be the other way around before the epidemic.